Love and Sex | Dating | Help my Boyfriend's Hooked on Porn - SGM

(Dating) Is he Hooked on Porn? Your partner says his late night porn activities is harmless, but the experts tell us otherwise! By Ally Briscoe.

With an estimated 15 million monthly visitors to PornHub alone, the most popular adult video site and an estimated 420 million adult web pages online, there?s no telling who?s significant other is among them. ?For the person who has difficulty stopping, porn is only one click away,? says sex therapist Kevin B. Skinner, PhD., author of Treating Pornography Addiction. ?Countless free sites are currently streaming sex to desktops, iPad, notebooks and yes, 4G smartphones,? says Skinner. ?Even guys who haven?t watched porn in years see it online it and re-engage themselves.? But, while some guys are capable of using porn responsibly (once in a while for added pleasure) others watch it way too much which can lead to problems in your bedroom.

?Learning that their partner is addicted to pornography is especially devastating to a woman?s self-esteem and ability to trust,? says Skinner. ?And it?s perfectly natural to feel that way.? But, women should know that some scientist suggest the effects of porn on the brain are ?toxic? comparable only cocaine. One psychologist claimed ?prolonged exposure to pornography stimulates an active preference for depictions of group sex, sadomasochistic practices, and sexual contact with animals.

There?s no doubt that some people?s porn consumption gets them in trouble ? in the form of maxed-out credit cards, lost sleep, neglected responsibilities, or neglected loved ones. But Skinner is one who takes issue with calling the problem behavior involving porn just an addiction. ?Compulsive? is more right,? He tells SGM.

?Our findings suggest ? men who are exposed to virtual sex way too often lose the desire to have sex with their partners, says Wendy Maltz, Internationally recognized sex therapist and coauthor of ?The Porn Trap.? What going on is an obsessive compulsive cycle from which once in play is hard to break free. ?Trying NOT to think about something never really worked for me, and eventually I would get to a point where thoughts would get so intense that I couldn?t handle the pressure any longer,? says Alex, a recovering porn addict.

The problem maybe that some men don?t think that the things they see and hear affect them. Yet, we all know that good music, good movies and good books add value to our lives. They can relax us, educate us, move us or inspire us. Just as uplifting media can benefit us, pornographic images can negatively affect us.

Images are in no way neutral. They can persuade us. The Pornographers know that if they can get a persuasive image of their product in front of your partner during a highly emotional moment, it will sink into his subconscious mind. Advertising scientists are so good at what they do, they can predict just how much more of their product he will buy if he sees their ad.

Now that we initiated you with some hooked on porn facts, let?s explore if porn is negatively affecting your partner and if so, how to help him find his way back to being your exclusive sex slave.

AROUSAL ADDICTION
?When a man views a woman naked body for the first time or see a new sex act, his brain releases triple the pleasure hormone dopamine than when he sees someone he?s seen before,? explains Dr. Skinner. Unfortunately, the more hooked on porn he becomes, the more likely it is to lead to something scientist call arousal addiction. The arousal addiction consists of a man only getting excited when he feels as sexual act tops what he?s been exposed to in the past. ?Men can become so hooked on porn that it?s harder for them to get and maintain an erection when they?re seeing something familiar?like you, such as,? says Mrs. Waltz.

ENLIGHTEN HIM
You?ve notice his equipment flunking lately and there?s no other likely causes (such as illness or meds). He isn?t stressed or and there?s no other issues you can point too, porn maybe the perp. On a physical level frequent masturbation can train his penis to respond only to only to one type of stimulation. ?Men who masturbate get use to using more physical pressure than intercourse provides making sex with you harder to get stimulated or it dampens his libido and it?s harder for him to reach ejaculation,? Waltz says.

Because your boyfriend may not realize the link between porn and his performance in the bedroom you may need to educate him. The key, says Waltz, is to be firm, but not judgmental, or you?ll risk alienating him leading to him constructing a wall of defense. The best approach is to get the conversation started with something like, ?I recently read the porn may actually make men less likely to want to have sex with their partners. It?s really interesting how it messes with the mind of its? users.?

WORKING A SOLUTION
?An addiction to pornography is not always about the sex. It?s about attachment. Women threatened by porn can learn that the emotional connection only they can offer is a powerful means of helping their spouse to recover.? This addiction is embarrassing for many, and even though many people are affected, few get the help they need. So how can you help your mate? Make a plan to amp up your sex lives as a couple so he doesn?t feel like you?re accusing or targeting him,? suggest Waltz. ?After you?ve explained the math, tell him, ?Okay, let?s do this? You cut back on the porn a little, and in the meantime, we?ll both brainstorm new sex moves to keep things going.

Try things such as new lingerie that looks different from what you usually wear to bed or new sex positions that give a completely unexpected view. 1. Massage his balls while giving oral action. 2. Stroke his penis, grab his butt while kissing his nipples. 3. Trying flexing your pelvic muscles when he enters you and pull out and get back on it and pump him like crazy and pull out again ? driving him crazy. 4. Put ice in your mouth and slide your tongue up and down his penis and then take it in your mouth?Repeat as necessary. 5. Whisper dirty talk into his ear while demanding that he bangs you harder. These are just a few tips I found that help me with my boyfriend and believe me there?s much more out there you can try.

Getting back to a place where both you guys are sexually stimulated and satisfied my take some time, but it?ll will be worth the wait if you really love your man. Remember, depending how long he has been hooked on porn can determine if he maybe a candidate of sexual pornography addiction counseling. First, make the ideas above and after while if it doesn?t seem to be working encourage him to seek counseling. In most cases a little sexual implementation on your part maybe the sudden jolt that he needs to shock him out of his fantasy. After trying several enhanced supplementation methods I found Ikawe worked for us along with my new sex moves. Get More Info on Ikawe for Improved Male Sexual Performance. Look, getting him off the porn is doable, don?t give up on him too soon. However, after doing everything in your power, in-addition to being very patient and he continues to be hooked on porn, then I don?t have to tell you ? your next move? So, good luck, you?re going to need it!

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Related links:
What is Pornography Addiction
How to Stop Porn Addiction
Help for Porn Addiction

Other Sex related articles you may find interesting like Hooked on Porn in Love and Sex

Ally B. For SGMagazine.

Source: http://selfguide.org/love-and-sex/dating/boyfriends-hooked-on-porn/

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